SECRET RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

Rule #1: Tip toe if you must but take a step

Sometimes the minor steps in the right direction are the most significant changes in your life. It’s not always the actual step that leads to the transition. When you take action, you have a swirl of energy and focus that moves you in ways you may never expect.  Create an online profile on a dating website if you want a relationship. You will see a shift in your energy and your vulnerability.  This will allow you to meet Mr./Mrs. Right in the grocery store or at the post office.  It would not have been possible without the small step toward becoming open.

Rule #2 Know your "why"

Your "WHY" is everything in life. It makes us do all we've done and shapes what we want.  If you can dig deep to understand your WHY -- understand what has propelled you to do the many things you have done in life and how this helped create failures and success -- you can adjust your WHY with new habits.  You’re soon to be "old WHY" has been reinforced for many years. You will find your WHY to be pretty fascinating! It shaped most of your decisions and has been the driving force of your ambitions. Suppose you can get to the WHY you will be able to change it. Here’s the key to finding your WHY: keep asking yourself why you did... till you get to an answer.

Example:

I took this job. WHY?

I wanted the promotion. WHY?

I tried to manage a team. WHY?

It makes me feel important; WHY?

My mom is a team manager, and that’s how I gauge my success. WHY?

I wanted my mom’s approval throughout the years, and I based decisions on what will gain me her praise.  

So your WHY is to make mommy happy? YES.  

Do you want to live your life to make mommy happy? NO, NOT ANYMORE.

It has gotten you pretty far in life so far. Do you want to make a change now? YES.

Rule #3 Plan, Analyze and Articulate

If you create a vision, a plan, or a goal, the chance of reaching that goal is proven to be higher.  It will likely stay in your head if you have idle notions about what you might want.  Making a plan means writing it out (even on your smartphone would work).  Look at what the actual goal is you want to achieve. Find out what is preventing you from success. Ask yourself what steps are needed to get to this goal. Look again and see if the steps are required to achieve your goal. Talk about your destination with trusted friends or family (or your coach). Speaking your goals aloud is a powerful force. When doing this, be open to support from others to achieve your goals. Creating a plan will help you figure out what may prevent you from achieving your goal.  This allows you to have a solid road map toward your dreams.

Rule #4 Make Space for a Great Life.

If you can make space for things you want in your world, you’ll attract these things to your life. If you are working like crazy and want more balance, find a way to make space for credit (maybe plan your departure from work each day as if you have plans, even if you don’t).  If you are too busy to date, carve out space and time for a special someone to be part of your life. If you are always taking care of others, carve out a day each week that’s your day to do what you want (and commit to it).  If you make the space for the things you want, you will see some magic happen.

Rule #5 Live in the Now

Worrying about the future is a red flag.  Worry is fear.  Fear is a belief.  What’s the worry? What fear does it represent? What is the idea that supports that fear?  More often than you would think, worry is based on fear and the belief supporting that fear is not rational.  Embrace a new idea, and the fear (and worry) will go away.  

Example:

Worry: Spider is going to attack me.

Fear: Spiders.

Belief: the spider, 10 feet away, will magically create a web from the corner of the room to my face over some time shorter than my ability to move my head, and it will go inside my eyeball and eat out my brain.

Alternative Belief: I can probably get away from any spider.

Living in fear and worry is living in failure.  There are ZERO positive benefits from sustained concern or fear. The result will always be stagnation and paralysis. Tackle any anxiety ASAP. Note: Don't walk down a dark alley if you feel terrible.  But don't focus on all the potential dark paths every time you walk at night, or you will never make it where you are going.

Rule #6 Get Help

This site has many tools to help you—blog posts on health, success, and relationships.  Take the free personality assessment above and get a professional readout of how your skills help or hinder your goals.